Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Grad School Drama

I am going to Grad School and that is it. But what for? I have been having this ongoing battle within myself if I want to go to be a teacher or a fine arts major.I wanted to greatly improve my skills but I could not answer the basic admissions questions. I gave up. I wanted the best of both worlds to be an art teacher. I looked in to SCAD. That would have been so awesome, but the school was so expensive there was no price.... :no: no that was not meant for me. I have an ok SAT score and I did not want to study for the GRE. Then there was the idea just be a generic teacher. Found a great place it would be awesome. People thought it was a great idea. I am good with kids and stuff... :thinking: So I was looking into what I could do. For months I was so set on it, like it is my destiny. At that time I am doing my internship and then I discover my creation in Giant food supermarket. Then my battle begins, I don't want to be a teacher as passionately, I want to be a designer. No not a web designer (many people ask me that) . From my internship I am doing so much learning so much credentials. My intern professor asked me this, "what is your true calling? Teaching is great for me, it comes with the benefits, but when it all comes down to it I want to animate, What do you want to do?" That question has been haunting me forever. Then I begin to panic because I do not know what to do. I am stressed, tired, cranky, unmotivated, and forcing smiles. I did not even want to go to work. I sat, cried, thought, prayed, I was in a downright funk. What am I going to do when I get out, where am I going to go? Mom told me to write it down, and take it one day at a time. I was not. After I got myself together, did some cleaning, moved the deck furniture, it came to me. I want to draw, be an illustrator. I want my drawings to be on stuff like Tokidoki and Hello Kitty :kitty: So I went in a circle, back to being a fine arts major. I have confidence in it and I am willing and ready to go for it.